It was 9:01 and the Dillard’s security guy meant business. Serious business. If I even thought for a second that he’d open that sliding glass door so I could walk through the store to get to my parked car, I was sadly mistaken. Plan B was of course to take the closest mall exit. Those are always so scenic. I went through the door underneath the Exit sign, walked down the concrete hallway, and turned right twice, then left twice. I kept walking, until I met up with the guy in the yellow poncho; his name is Hank. He directed me further down the hall to make 2 more turns, then shimmy up the crawl space which leads to the passage way which opens up to Creeper Alley. After a stroll to the end of Creeper Alley, I just needed to assemble the three piece statue (Shrine of the Silver Monkey) which will allow me access to the sidewalk. The sidewalk will then lead me to the other end of the mall, where I’ll find my car conveniently parked at Dillard’s. 

Maybe I have a vivid imagination, but does it not seem like this every time you have to take the mall exit? It is forever long and eery, and NEVER puts you anywhere close to your car.  

I was having dinner with a couple of friends the other night and we got to talking. The subject was the same thing that we usually get to talking about when we’re together.. dudes.

My friend, L, told me about a boy in her life who she is really into. She told me all about him; his personality, what he looks like, his charm, and all the cute little things he does that completely make her day.. which I’m sure he has no idea she even notices. And I’m sitting there and I’m listening to her go on about it and something dawned on me.. I really miss that feeling. 

The feeling I’m talking about is the way you feel when you first realize you like someone. When everything that person does is just the sweetest thing ever. It could be even the simplest of things.. something that anybody would do for anybody else, such as holding the door open for you.. and you look at him like he is more chivalrous than any Disney prince ever thought about being. You walk around all day long in a ridiculous, wonderful, haze. Every time you see him, you look forward to it. Every time his name pops up on your phone, you get excited to the point of smiling noticeably big. Not just happy excited though.. nervous excited. Your stomach feels like you just did a hundred crunches and then it turned itself upside down. And you blush a little. And as awful and confusing as you think this feeling is while you have it, you still take it for all its worth because you know that not feeling it is way worse than the feeling itself. It is intoxicating and addictive.

It’s been about 11 months since I felt this way about a boy and I miss it. Actually, I’ve moved past the withdrawal stage of missing it, and right into the numb stage. Not to get all ‘Inception’ on you here, but right now, I am pretty sure I miss the missing of that feeling.

Part of me thinks that I may never feel it again. Maybe I’ve used up all of my feelings over the past 25 years.. and all of the chances I didn’t take with all of the guys that made me feel like that are all used up. 

But the other part of me has faith that somewhere out there is a boy who will give me that feeling again. And not just for a short time, and not just for a long time, but forever. There is still a possibility that I am one of the blessed people in the world who finds somebody who gives me that feeling every single day for the rest of forever.

That wonderful, miserable, incredible feeling. 

I am breaking my [unintentional] Tumblr silence to give you my feelings toward tattoos. 

Because I change my mind about everything, the thought of anything permanently printed on my body makes me want to hyperventilate. Except, I had this idea for a tattoo.. 

If/when I ever get married, I want my husband (whoever the lucky bloke may be) and I to each get little bitty red hearts tattood on the palms of our hands (thumb area). This way, when we hold hands, our hearts touch. 

#sappy 

After a less than mediocre NYE, I thought it would be a great idea to ‘go out out’ with my roommate and her friend from work. Grand idea. Now I’m laying in bed at 11am smelling my smokey hair and wondering how I got this bruise on my leg. Let’s recap the night. Started with shots. Then I spent a good 30 minutes schooling some joker on why the SEC > any other conference and that the bowl games are case in point. Then he brought up the UT/NC game. More shots. Then, I played Gucci Mane on the jukebox- one of the greatest decisions of the night. More shots. Ran into a few friends and friends of friends. One last shot. Find roommate and leave. Go to Krystal drive thru. Go to bed.

Still no idea of the origin of the bruise, but I’d say Gucci had something to do with it.

if I say ‘lol’, then I am actually laughing out loud. If I say ‘haha’, then I only chuckled in my head.

1- There’s really no such thing as a ‘free gift with purchase’.. it should just be a ‘gift with purchase’ because gifts are already free, no? And if you only get the gift iff you make the purchase, then technically there is in fact a cost involved and it is neither free nor a gift.
 
2- I’m in need of roadtrip to someplace fun.
 
3- Dunkaroos are very underrated. As are Toaster Strudels.
 
4- I’m teetering between wanting it to snow big and wanting spring to hurry up.
 
5. Coach was an awesome show and I miss it.

So, yesterday I had to take a daytrip to Atlanta to go shopping for work.. This sounds like an abs fab day.. shopping for work?.. sounded great to everyone but me! I knew this was going to be the longest day ev.er. Atlanta is a 3hr drive from Knoxville. Ugh. And, I had the unattainable mission of creating a pro-style locker room in our office to store client gear- and get it done in a turnaround time of 24 hours because we have a recruit coming to tour the office. Double ugh. I shopped at Ikea for an absurdly long time, had to get hateful with the only employee I could find in the entire enormous store, and left without most of what I needed. Got home at 2:30 this morning and was back to the office by 8:00. Needless to say, I have no clue how I pulled it off, but low and behold my version of a locker room.. 

Not too shabby for a short amount of time! I’m lucky to have awesome people that helped pull this off. 

We are almost done with recruiting season and things will slow down. At least that’s what I keep telling myself. For the time being, I will continue to grind. Oh, and I found out that I’m going to the Senior Bowl. Sweetness [sarcasm]. Mobile, Alabama for a week? Yuck. This means I have 2 weeks in Knoxville, then I’ll be in Mobile, then straight to Dallas for the Super Bowl, then maybe to Gainesville for the UT/UF bball game (kinda for work, but mostly for me). I’m tired just thinking about it. Super Bowl week will be exhausting but SO MUCH FUN! I am really excited about it. Last year, was crazy, but I had one of the best times of my life! Plus, hopefully we’ll have a couple of guys to play this year.. fingers crossed!!